PART TWO: 11 Strategies to Tackle Loneliness at The Top

Posted by Brian Maphosa

I am certain you have read the first part of the article. Here I provide some of the measures I suggest in combating the CEO’s loneliness which include:

  1. Join a Peer-to- Peer Board

There are several Peer-to-Peer Executive Boards that have come up all over the world. These are different from networking groups like BNI. Being a Regional Director with The Alpha Group, I chair such boards of CEOs and SME business owners. Being in this position, I have seen the sense of relief in some leaders that have joined our boards. The relief comes from being among colleagues giving honest and valuable advice. Furthermore, the relief is from dealing with people without hidden agendas.  

Such boards provide a safe place to discuss the CEO’s most vulnerable issues whether business or persona without worrying about all the stuff one must deal with in their company boards. For most CEOs it is amazingly helpful and relieving to be among genuine peers.  Such groups are also composed of people with an understanding of similar challenges the CEO is battling with. Unlike in their own boards, these are a group of people who are also CEOs in their own businesses. In most cases the advice or perspectives are from personal experiences that the member sharing would have gone through.  

There is also the point that there is strength in numbers. Just the mere fact of the CEO knowing that there are others facing the same challenges and anxieties as themself is extremely helpful. To apply to be a member of THE ALPHA PEER TO PEER BOARD CLICK HERE

2. Be There in The Present

The CEO needs to be genuinely present at any moment and guard against the mind roaming off to the office while with loved ones or in a meeting or at a social function. While it is understandable that as CEO you are employed 24/7 you have to be present wherever you are if you want to curb that loneliness animal.  You need to be grounded and connect not only with those around you but with whatever is going on around you at that present moment.

3. Be Genuine.

In your dealings with your team be simply open to different opinions and genuine in receiving the good and bad news. If you are intolerant to bad news or opinions different from yours  you run the risk of creating a team of ‘praise singers’ that will only tell you what makes you happy. Once on that road, unfortunately you hit the ‘loneliness tarmac.’

Being genuine also means being appropriately vulnerable.  Ask for feedback from your team and/or colleagues and swallow both the ugly and the beautiful. Time and again, I have seen leaders snapping in team building retreats after being told the truth by one of their team members. Doing that always breaks down all the pretence of being open to ideas or different opinions. At that moment all the trust flies out the window. Your team members must feel comfortable around you.

4. Develop a Social Network With Other Leaders.

Belonging to some social network grouping also helps a lot. In this kind of grouping, you can let lose of all the trappings of being a CEO and just be yourself. This is where you can be one of the ‘boys or girls.’ Afterall remember that the ‘self’ is desperate to come out from the borrowed robs of a CEO. These social networks can be such simple solutions as belonging to a whatsapp group, or joining a social club, or a biking club, golf club etc.

5.  Know When to Stop

Having accepted that as the owner of a business, or CEO you are engaged 24/7, it does not necessarily mean that you must be working 24/7. It simply means that you are accountable to whatever happens to your business every minute. You need to know when to put away the laptop and all office gadgets and get on with the joys of life. As a business owner it’s a fact you will never feel you are done with work. Accept that you are going for the marathon rather than a short sprint and therefore need to some rest on the way. It is important that you have time to form crucial social connections in life. Give yourself that time to spend with your family and form some boundaries between work and home life. The important thing is to reconnect with those most important to you.

6. Accept Reality.

For one to seek social support, it is important that one acknowledges feelings of loneliness or isolation whenever they exist. Being in denial can have irreparable damage not only to oneself but to the business and your loved ones. This goes in tandem with being in the present that I referred to earlier. When in the present one is constantly self-introspecting and being honest about their state of mine. It also means being able to know when to seek help where needed before it is too late.

Acknowledging reality and seeking help is far from a being a sign weakness. The fact that you are in that CEO position means you are already an achiever. You are there because you made it. Being real and calling for help is also a sign of strength because weak leaders do not display their vulnerability.  Loneliness will never be solved without admitting that there is a problem. Unfortunately, some CEOs lie to themselves and those trying to help. To such CEOs, the pressure is just a ‘small problem to be over soon.’

7. Get a Coach/Advisor

Have someone you can genuine confide in and get genuine advice from. Such people need not be necessarily a coach. It could be someone you respect, your pastor, an ex-CEO etc, but it needs to be a person who can help in many respects and most importantly understands the pressures you go through as a CEO.

8. Develop a Team You Can Rely On

To manage loneliness, you also need to develop a robust team that you can rely on. A team of strong, competent reliable players can take a big burden off the CEO’s shoulders. Having such a team in place means as a CEO you can take the time off and go reenergising with family and/or friends and be genuinely there as opposed to worrying about what is happening at the office. It really helps in the fight against loneliness to be able to reach out to talented team members. As I always say to my clients, ‘the success of your team is seen by how it operates in your absence.’

9. Have Your ‘me’ Day.

Have a day in a week when you can have no business or work related issues to deal with. This could even by one of the weekend days. That is the day you can have your ‘boys out’ or ‘outing with your daughter’ day. Its also a day you can do things you are fond of- be it sporting or reading etc. That way you reconnect with what matters to you.

10. Roll up Your Sleeves.

Every so often, roll up your sleeves and do some manual work. This could be gardening, cleaning the car or being in the kitchen. As Vishal Sunak, CEO and founder of LinkSquares says, “I love rolling up my sleeves, which helps combat the loneliness, even if that’s doing some work that is tedious or manual. It also helps me stay connected with the team that can benefit from these efforts.”

11. Deal With Lockdown Loneliness

The lockdowns that are there in most countries have not helped either. If not managed, they also cause an extra sense of isolation and loneliness. Some innovative ways of handling this include having ‘Virtual Bar Fridays for the team’ where the team can take the time to meet virtually and catch up in an informal online hang out over some coffee/tea or some beer. Some organisations have regular virtual meetings where everyone talks and asks for help if they need it. As a leader you will feel less lonely when you know you have a call with your team to just catch up.

The above are but only a few of the strategies a CEO can implement he/she grapples with the issue of loneliness at the top. The initiatives you take don’t matter because as Arthur C. Brooks in an Atlantic article titled ‘Why It’s So Lonely at the Top’, says, ‘ what matters is creating an ecosystem where you can spend time with others and be seen as a person, not as your title.’ The Chairman or board must have the responsibility to ensure this hygienic factor of loneliness is taken care of. They cannot afford to let the ‘girl or boy’ at the cockpit feel lonely- that is a recipe for disaster.

If you need to discuss this and see how we can help,  CONTACT ME HERE or as detailed below. Most importantly join The Alpha Group Board now by APPLYING FOR MEMBERSHIP HERE

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